Are SAC Relationships Worth the Time?

Daile's beautiful baby boy

My arms were full of groceries as I rushed out of the supermarket when I heard a tentative voice call out to me.

I swung around to see a young woman entering the store with a young baby secured tightly in her grocery cart.

"Daile!" I said.

She flashed a beaming smile and in that instant I was transported to 1994.

I remember Daile with her carefully braided hair, the graceful bowing of her violin and her soft spoken nature.  I had known her from her first grade to fifth grade and had seen her coaxed ever so gradually out of her shell.

After her fifth grade (and extended day) graduation, her family and I had kept in touch.

Years later I stood with other mothers taking picture of her and her friends before they went to prom.

Today Daile has finished college and is a young working mother herself.

She is a picture of happiness.

Tired happiness, she tells me, as she now tries to mentally check boxes and juggle priorities as an adult.

I could hear the pride and confidence in her voice as she tells me about life.

I interrupt her mid sentence to say: "Daile, when did you get to be all grown up?"

She laughed and and said, "I wish we could get together soon..."

As we went our separate ways I could not help but feel proud to have been a part of her growing up years.

I believe that somehow, the positive experiences she will provide for her son will be in part, due to the kind of environment we contributed to her childhood.

For myself  it is moments like that-- encounters with former children in my school-age care program-- that I realize that the twelve years that I devoted to my work there, was meaningful.

It is also just another validation that those school-age care relationships can and will last a lifetime if you treat the children in your program with respect and genuine care.

-Chesca Silva

Question of the Day: Help! How Do I stop children from hitting each other?

Question: How do I handle a group of children in my program that constantly forget to keep their hands to themselves?



We found a good answer to this question in the book Conscious Discipline by Dr. Becky A. Bailey
(Page 176)
Answer: Dr. Bailey says that children convey their wants and their needs through their actions.
They hit and grab to get what they want. We can help children by teaching them to use words.


In the situation where one child hits another on the head with a pencil, Dr. Bailey walks us through six steps to help the child use words instead of actions:

Step 1: Since we do not actually know what a child's motives are, we might as well assume that it is positive. So the first thing we should do is state the child's positive intent by completing this sentence, "You wanted _____." This builds security and cooperation.
So we might say, "You wanted Cameron to look at you."

Step 2: Without making judgements, describe the child's actions by completing the sentence,
"So you _____." This builds consciousness.
So we might say, " You wanted Cameron to look at you, so you thumped him on the head with a pencil."

Step 3: Give the child the benefit of the doubt. We might say, "You did not know the words to use to_____." or " You didn't know how to _____ without being hurtful." This defines the child as a good person who made a mistake.
You might say, "You didn't know what else to do to get Cameron's attention." This builds self-esteem.

Step 4: State the limit and why it is needed. This gives the child a clear boundary of what is not acceptable. Say, "You may not ___ ! It hurts."
You might reiterate, "You may not hit Cameron with the pencil. It hurts."

Step 5: Teach the child what should be done in that situation. Help the child practice the words needed. To teach the child a new course of action, use the following words:
"When you want ____, say (or do) ____. Say or (do it) now."
Tell the child, "When you want Cameron to look at you, say: Hey Cameron, look here. Try it now."

Step 6: Encourage the child for being willing to try a different approach. If possible, point out how the new approach has proved successful.
You might say, "You did it! Cameron is looking right at you."

Challenges We Face in SAC

Round Table Discussion is defined as a number of persons gathered together for conference and discussion of a topic.

On January 29, 2009 a group of after-school professionals came together to participate in the first SAC Round Table in southwestern PA this year. Before discussing the challenges that we face in the SAC field, we talked about what we thought we were doing right and what we would like to see more of in SAC programs.

What we are doing right:
* Staff plan for and with our after-school children.
* After-school programs are flexible.
* Staff understand that relationships are important.
* Staff are role models.
* Children are given choices.
* Parents learn more about their children through assessments and daily interactions with staff.
* After-school programs are not a continuation but a supplement to school and home.
* Children feel safe not just physcially but emotionally.
* After-school programs broaden the horizons of the children they serve.
* Please add to this list in the comments section.

Challenges we face:
* Finding and retaining good staff.
* Properly compensating quality staff.
* Building positive relationships with families.
* Sharing common goals between directors, parents, staff and children.
* Transporting children to and from programs.
* Dedicating space specifically for after-school needs.
* Serving children with special needs.
* Stating and implementing policies that deal with behavior issues.
* Finding the time and motivation to attend professional development.
* Please add to this list in the comments section.

Round table discussions serve as 2 professional development hours and also serve as an opportunity to network and share ideas about SAC issues. We hope more people will be able to join us for the next session. We will keep you posted for the next meeting and hope to see you there.

It was nice to meet Traci, Mary Lou and Christopher.
Thanks to Jan for leading the round table.

Suzanne and Chesca

Question of the Day: Can we be too flexible?

Question: Okay, so I  prepared for my science activity for the children. 

I practiced it and had it down to a "science." I was quite pleased that it worked-- In fact, I was very excited about it.  However, when I was working with the children, they were not interested in doing it the way I showed them.  Should I insist that they follow the specific instructions or should I be flexible? When is it flexibility and when are we being "push-overs?"

Answer: In our role as teachers in after-school programs our job is different from that of a classroom teacher. It is less structured.  Our job is not to teach the child a particular subject but to supervise the child's out-of-school time.  While children may be expected to keep on task at school, while at after-school time, they need a change of pace.  Children need to have fun.

Regardless of the activity that we have prepared for, the goal should be to enjoy the activity.

If having fun means changing the standard rules for a particular activity to fit the needs of the group, then by all means, change the rules.  Games and activities should serve the needs of the children, not the other way around.

(source: Elements of an After-school Program by Clairece Feagin)

The Chefs say:

What do you think? Please tell us!

Question of the Day: How much is too much?

Question:

I like your idea of serving children family style but how do we regulate the amount of food children help themselves to so that the children do not over-eat and the snack budget remains intact?

The Chefs say:

What worked for our program as we made the switch to family style was to:

mount labels on menu holders placed in front of each serving dish.

each label had the amount or portion each child is alloted to take.

For the non-reading children, we drew the serving size amount.

(for example: 3 slices of pears, 2 cookies, 8 spoons of yoghurt etc)

For added information on family style dining with school-age care, click here.

Question of the Day: Boss or Bossy

Question:
"I have a lot of rowdy children in my after-school program and I would like my staff to be able to manage them. How can the staff make sure that the children know that they (the staff) are the boss?"

Answer:
There is a difference between being "Bossy" and being "The Boss."
Being bossy is authoritarian-and is counterproductive to having a pleasant, congenial atmosphere that will enhance a child's development.
Being the boss means using authoritative strategies.
Authoritative strategies show a friendly, positive commitment to the children combined with clear, firm rules and explanations. An authoritative staff provides structure and control while taking the children's wishes and point of view into consideration.

(Clarice Feagin, Elements of a Quality After-School Program)

The Chefs say:
The difference between being authoritarian and
using authoritative strategies:
Telling a child not to knock down someone else's blocks "because I said so" is authoritarian.
An authoritative strategy would be to:
-Ask a child
"how would you feel if your blocks were knocked down without your permission?"
-Come up with an action plan to satisfy a child's desire to build and tear down.
"Its fun to tear down stuff, isn't it."
"What if you take turns building and knocking down? "
"Or what if the two of you see how many blocks it will take to knock this structure down?"
-Have a consistent consequence for someone that has not learned to respect others' creations.
"Jill, come sit over here and lets see how many blocks it will take for Jack to knock that down"

To see how using authoritarian strategies is linked to the NAA standards click here.

*Please feel free to post your own questions and/or answers in the comment section.
We welcome all comments or suggestions.