A Conversation about Relationships

Standing L->R: Ida, Chesca, Suzanne and Desirae
Seated L-R: Melissa, Raff and Andrea

Saturday, January 17, 2009.
A group of dedicated practitioners got together for coffee, juice and bagels to have a conversation about relationships.
Aside from earning two Professional Development hours, the idea behind the session was to move beyond the basic and obvious necessities of school-age care by improving relationships.
Building relationships in the school-age care setting makes life better not only for the children but for everyone involved.
Through the exchange of ideas and experiences amongst this dynamic group of women,
it was apparent that we all agreed that we must establish a meaningful relationship before we can lead, influence or work with others.

IDA-Stressed that consistency teaches responsibility and is crucial to a positive relationship with children. 
Both IDA and SUZANNE maintain that we do not all have to agree but we must treat everyone with sensitivity and respect.

ANDREA shared how she can like a certain child despite how challenging the work with the child can be.
We identified how important it is to find something to like in a person and build a relationship from there.
DESIRAE reminded us of the importance of giving children control with boundaries. She also tries to ignore the negative in an effort to nurture more of what she hopes to see in a child.

When MELISSA interacts with children she calls upon her own experiences as a child and is able to empathize.
RAFF's experience in supporting a child's interest is what inspired a big project at her site called the international food festival.
After a cooking activity with the children, and listening to them say: "wouldn't it be cool if we tried food from around the world?"
A culturally and socially enriching activity was born.

CHESCA says that talking is a major part of listening.  Reflecting or repeating to a child what we hear them say lets them hear themselves and confirms to them that we are hearing them correctly.

We discussed how L-I-S-T-E-N is an effective tool that can be used to develop and improve relationships:

- Like something or find something positive.
-  Inspire. We are inspired when someone reminds us of what is positive in ourselves.
- Sensitive. In order to connect we must be sensitive their emotions and needs.
- Talk. As we listen, we should reflect the words back to the speaker.
- Empathize.  We should remember or imagine what it is like to be in the place of others.
- Nurture. Make each encounter something that nurtures. Nurture what is good.

The beauty of this tool is that it works not only with our work with children but in our daily interactions outside of work as well.
Life is not defined by the quantity of things we have but the quality of our relationships.
It was a great conversation we had and we look forward to seeing you again.
We hope more practitioners can join us at future sessions.

~Chesca Silva